Stadium! (A sarcastic article)

Meraikan kemenangan Negeri Sembilan ke atas Kedah pada final Piala FA 2010

Based on the previous post, I've made it EXTREMELY CLEAR that I am a football fan. There has been a drastic change in the Malaysian football scene since the last couple of years. Fans (be it the TRUE or seasonal fans) begin to flock into stadiums to watch their team play. In a way, it is great for it will create a fantastic atmosphere in the stadium.  Besides the atmosphere, the FA will gain a little bit of dough from the entry fees that we pay and in a small way, we could bring Malaysian football to a higher level. But, like all other situations, there are pros and cons of it.

Enough with the pros. Since this is a shoot, I'll emphasize on the cons. WOMEN!

SEKSIS! Mesti perkataan ini yang akan terlintas dalam kepala anda bukan? Jika ya, buangkannya. Saya bukan seorang yang seksis. Saya cuma tidak suka WANITA di dalam stadium yang berpakaian seperti hendak ke PANTAI! Kalau ditegur, alasannya :

"Panas la stadium. Orang pun ramai. Kalau macam ini, tak lah panas sangat"

Too hot? Miss, please do not forget that we still have another world to live after we leave the one that we are in now. Another favourite response is :

"Mind your own business! I'm not bothering you or anything! If you do not like the way I dress, look away then!"

Cik adik, ada jugak lelaki yang baik di dunia ini. Menegur agar cik-cik adik semua tidak ditimpa kecelakaan seperti dicabul dan ... (you know where I'm going with this don't you?). Jadi jangan lah balas teguran baik dengan tengkingan seperti di atas. Bukannya tak pernah berlaku kes yang disebutkan di atas. Kami beri peringatan sahaja.

I'm a bit off topic i think. Back to the main point which is their dress code.

Pakai seluar pendek yang panjangnya 6-7 inci. Lepas tu bila ada LELAKI pandang tak berkelip, heboh cakap mamat tu gatal dan pervert. Eh? Tak perasan ke seluar tu pendek sangat? Terlupa tengok cermin ke sebelum keluar rumah tadi? (I thought of including a couple of pictures as "evidence" but come to think of it, I'd rather not)

Complaining about the stench in the stadium is another criteria that they obtain. (You didn't think that I was through about the cons did you?)

Cik adik, awak pergi stadium. Tempat orang bersorak, memaki, menjerit, melompat (bila gol), semestinya lah mereka akan berpeluh. Kalau dah 70-80 ribu orang berpeluh, awak boleh la fikir sendiri aroma yang akan timbul. Tambahan pula ada yang menyalakan cancer stick mereka. (BTW, smoking is prohibited in stadiums if all you smokers didn't know). Awak jangan la pergi stadium dengan anggapan :

"Aku kan perempuan, mustahil lah mereka nak biarkan aku berdiri dan berasak-asak dalam stadium nanti"

ataupun

"Ish, tak sabarnya nak pergi stadium! Boleh ambil gambar banyak-banyak kemudian muat naik ke laman sosial untuk tunjuk pada mereka yang tak dapat pergi stadium bahawa pergi stadium adalah sangat cool!"


Yeah, right! We are all gentlemen here in the stadiums. We could not bare to watch a woman standing for 2-3 hours or sandwiched in the middle of the crowd. AS IF! Even we (men), wanted to be as comfortable as we can in stadiums. It's not that we were not bothered by the stench in the stadium, it's just that we can accept that the current situation is as comfortable as it gets in the stadium.

(Hint - WOMEN, try to lower your standards and expectations when you decide to attend to a stadium.)

Pictures! I don't mind you taking pictures. As a matter of fact, it is never a problem for me if you take pictures in the stadium. It ONLY bothers me and others (I think) when you take pictures ALL THE TIME and distracting homo sapiens around you who is trying to watch the football match! Snap a picture before the match. Nobody would mind. Or during half time. As a matter of fact, take all the pictures you want after the match! That is when all of us do take a picture.

(Hint No. 2 - NEVER EVER take pictures of yourself during a football match!)

Perkara-perkara yang aku bangkitkan dalam artikel ini bukanlah perkara yang besar. Bak kata nenek aku yang berbangsa jawa, "small matter". Namun, perkara-perkara remeh sebegini sudah cukup untuk membuatkan seorang penonton  setia bola sepak terlepas detik penting di atas padang. Maklumlah, di stadium tiada ulang tayang. Haha (cheap joke).


Kepada penonton bola sepak Malaysia, penuhilah stadium yang berhampiran anda. Jangan hanya bertandang ke stadium apabila pasukan anda berada di persada liga, sedang mencatat kemenangan demi kemenangan, mahupun ketika berada di peringkat akhir sahaja. Sentiasalah menyokong pasukan kita tidak kira menang ataupun kalah. Serta didiklah anak-anak kita ke stadium agar semangat cintakan bola sepak tanah air dapat diterapkan dari usia yang awal kerana mereka lah generasi yang akan menyambung perjuangan kita sebagai peminat sukan bola sepak tanah air! (Dah macam ahli politik nak pancing undi wakut pilihan raya pulak aku rasa ayat aku ni)


Penutupnya, aku cuma nak sedarkan kita agar lebih peka dan sensitif dengan keadaan sekeliling kita. Sesuai atau tidak perilaku kita dengan keadaan sekeliling. Seperkara lagi, ingin aku tekankan bahawa AKU TIDAK SEKSIS! Kalau anda terasa dengan artikel ini, memang itu tujuannya. Kita terlalu berkias dalam memberi teguran. Mungkin menegur dengan cara langsung dapat memberi lebih impak untuk menyedarkan masyarakat kita.

WE NEED A PUNT IN THE BACK FOR WE HAVE BEEN TOO MELLOW FOR TOO LONG!

Respect!

with Norhafiz Zamani Misbah (standing third from right)

Gambar ini diambil selepas kami berbuka puasa di salah sebuah restoran di Seremban baru-baru ini. Aku agak minat la mamat ni main bola. Calm and composed at the heart of Negeri's defense. OK, straight to the real stuff.

RESPECT! We always demand this from peers and foes. Kencing la kalau korang cakap,"aku tak pernah pun mintak orang lain hormat aku". You can lie to me,to yourself, and to others but you won't be able to lie to HIM.

Aku merupakan peminat setia sukan bola sepak. I watch it on TV's and in stadiums. Heck, I even play this most beautiful game myself! Aku start pergi stadium sejak umur aku 4 tahun (1992). (Menurut mak aku la. Aku mana ingat,kan aku budak kecik). Apabila timbulnya kes rasuah terbesar dalam bola sepak Malaysia pada 1994, aku berhenti pergi stadium sehingga tahun 1999. Then, I continued visiting my beloved Larkin Stadium to watch Johor hosting football matches for a couple of years. I stopped going to the stadium from 2001 until I opened my heart in 2009 to watch Negeri Sembilan play at Paroi Stadium.

Hence, the passion of the sports dah ditanamkan dalam hati aku sejak kecik. There's even this MYTH about my beloved father made me memorize all the Manchester United players since the day I could speak (And yes ladies and gentleman, I am a fan of the RED DEVILS since 1990!).

Ringkasannya, tatkala korang (yang lebih kurang sebaya dengan aku) tengah hisap botol susu kat rumah, aku dah tengok bola di stadium. Haa,ini baru muqaddimah. Isi artikel "RESPECT!" ini berada di perenggan seterusnya.

I've been inviting my peers to join me at the stadium to experience the atmosphere. They've always seen it on TV, why not living it in stadiums? A few said yes, most of them rejected the idea, and quite a bunch of them will give this kind of remarks : 

"Tengok la BPL ke Seria A ke La Liga ke. Baru la quality football. Tak ada la membazir duit kau bayar tiket pergi stadium tengok match sampah".

Hello kawan, aku minat bola sepak Malaysia. Aku start tengok bola pun, bola Malaysia. Time kau tengah sibuk suruh mak kau belikan kau mainan ultraman, aku tengah sibuk semak keputusan Liga Semi-Pro Malaysia di akhbar. Lepas tu kau rendah-rendahkan minat aku. Tak nak pergi cakap la tak nak pergi. Tak payah la nak cakap match di stadium tu sampah.

How would you monkey anuses feel when others mock your passion? E.g : You like collecting football jerseys (most of you monkey anuses will collect jerseys from the BPL. Duh!) and I walked up to you and say,

"Kau tak rasa membazir ke beli jersi original harga 2-3 ratus pakai duit mak bapak kau? Kalau nak sangat beli la yang jual di pasar malam. RM20 boleh dapat 2 helai!"

I bet my anus that you morons will reply a little bit similar to the sentence below,

"Pasar malam local la. Mana ada kelas. Lagipun aku memang minat pasukan ni, tak salah la kalau aku habis duit beli jersi-jersi diorang"

Oo, kalau kau perlekehkan minat orang boleh. Bila orang perlekehkan minat kau, kau cuba pertahankan minat kau tu walaupun kau sedar yang beli jersi RM200-300 sebanyak 4-5 helai yang bezanya cuma tulisan penaja dan warna jersi itu sebenarnya sesuatu yang kurang bijak. Apakah ikan?

You "intelligent" creatures know as well as I do that interests are subjective. You could even be interested about a rock for all I care. Just, and I mean JUST don't insult the interest of others. SHOW RESPECT TO OTHERS IN ORDER TO GAIN IT FROM THEM.