Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Stadium! (A sarcastic article)

Meraikan kemenangan Negeri Sembilan ke atas Kedah pada final Piala FA 2010

Based on the previous post, I've made it EXTREMELY CLEAR that I am a football fan. There has been a drastic change in the Malaysian football scene since the last couple of years. Fans (be it the TRUE or seasonal fans) begin to flock into stadiums to watch their team play. In a way, it is great for it will create a fantastic atmosphere in the stadium.  Besides the atmosphere, the FA will gain a little bit of dough from the entry fees that we pay and in a small way, we could bring Malaysian football to a higher level. But, like all other situations, there are pros and cons of it.

Enough with the pros. Since this is a shoot, I'll emphasize on the cons. WOMEN!

SEKSIS! Mesti perkataan ini yang akan terlintas dalam kepala anda bukan? Jika ya, buangkannya. Saya bukan seorang yang seksis. Saya cuma tidak suka WANITA di dalam stadium yang berpakaian seperti hendak ke PANTAI! Kalau ditegur, alasannya :

"Panas la stadium. Orang pun ramai. Kalau macam ini, tak lah panas sangat"

Too hot? Miss, please do not forget that we still have another world to live after we leave the one that we are in now. Another favourite response is :

"Mind your own business! I'm not bothering you or anything! If you do not like the way I dress, look away then!"

Cik adik, ada jugak lelaki yang baik di dunia ini. Menegur agar cik-cik adik semua tidak ditimpa kecelakaan seperti dicabul dan ... (you know where I'm going with this don't you?). Jadi jangan lah balas teguran baik dengan tengkingan seperti di atas. Bukannya tak pernah berlaku kes yang disebutkan di atas. Kami beri peringatan sahaja.

I'm a bit off topic i think. Back to the main point which is their dress code.

Pakai seluar pendek yang panjangnya 6-7 inci. Lepas tu bila ada LELAKI pandang tak berkelip, heboh cakap mamat tu gatal dan pervert. Eh? Tak perasan ke seluar tu pendek sangat? Terlupa tengok cermin ke sebelum keluar rumah tadi? (I thought of including a couple of pictures as "evidence" but come to think of it, I'd rather not)

Complaining about the stench in the stadium is another criteria that they obtain. (You didn't think that I was through about the cons did you?)

Cik adik, awak pergi stadium. Tempat orang bersorak, memaki, menjerit, melompat (bila gol), semestinya lah mereka akan berpeluh. Kalau dah 70-80 ribu orang berpeluh, awak boleh la fikir sendiri aroma yang akan timbul. Tambahan pula ada yang menyalakan cancer stick mereka. (BTW, smoking is prohibited in stadiums if all you smokers didn't know). Awak jangan la pergi stadium dengan anggapan :

"Aku kan perempuan, mustahil lah mereka nak biarkan aku berdiri dan berasak-asak dalam stadium nanti"

ataupun

"Ish, tak sabarnya nak pergi stadium! Boleh ambil gambar banyak-banyak kemudian muat naik ke laman sosial untuk tunjuk pada mereka yang tak dapat pergi stadium bahawa pergi stadium adalah sangat cool!"


Yeah, right! We are all gentlemen here in the stadiums. We could not bare to watch a woman standing for 2-3 hours or sandwiched in the middle of the crowd. AS IF! Even we (men), wanted to be as comfortable as we can in stadiums. It's not that we were not bothered by the stench in the stadium, it's just that we can accept that the current situation is as comfortable as it gets in the stadium.

(Hint - WOMEN, try to lower your standards and expectations when you decide to attend to a stadium.)

Pictures! I don't mind you taking pictures. As a matter of fact, it is never a problem for me if you take pictures in the stadium. It ONLY bothers me and others (I think) when you take pictures ALL THE TIME and distracting homo sapiens around you who is trying to watch the football match! Snap a picture before the match. Nobody would mind. Or during half time. As a matter of fact, take all the pictures you want after the match! That is when all of us do take a picture.

(Hint No. 2 - NEVER EVER take pictures of yourself during a football match!)

Perkara-perkara yang aku bangkitkan dalam artikel ini bukanlah perkara yang besar. Bak kata nenek aku yang berbangsa jawa, "small matter". Namun, perkara-perkara remeh sebegini sudah cukup untuk membuatkan seorang penonton  setia bola sepak terlepas detik penting di atas padang. Maklumlah, di stadium tiada ulang tayang. Haha (cheap joke).


Kepada penonton bola sepak Malaysia, penuhilah stadium yang berhampiran anda. Jangan hanya bertandang ke stadium apabila pasukan anda berada di persada liga, sedang mencatat kemenangan demi kemenangan, mahupun ketika berada di peringkat akhir sahaja. Sentiasalah menyokong pasukan kita tidak kira menang ataupun kalah. Serta didiklah anak-anak kita ke stadium agar semangat cintakan bola sepak tanah air dapat diterapkan dari usia yang awal kerana mereka lah generasi yang akan menyambung perjuangan kita sebagai peminat sukan bola sepak tanah air! (Dah macam ahli politik nak pancing undi wakut pilihan raya pulak aku rasa ayat aku ni)


Penutupnya, aku cuma nak sedarkan kita agar lebih peka dan sensitif dengan keadaan sekeliling kita. Sesuai atau tidak perilaku kita dengan keadaan sekeliling. Seperkara lagi, ingin aku tekankan bahawa AKU TIDAK SEKSIS! Kalau anda terasa dengan artikel ini, memang itu tujuannya. Kita terlalu berkias dalam memberi teguran. Mungkin menegur dengan cara langsung dapat memberi lebih impak untuk menyedarkan masyarakat kita.

WE NEED A PUNT IN THE BACK FOR WE HAVE BEEN TOO MELLOW FOR TOO LONG!

1 comment:

  1. good stuff...as a member of the CSC(Cigarette Stick Clan)..i totally agree wit u foo..haih...women2...it is good for them to have real football experience in the stadium,yet,they must attend it with the sake of love for the game(most aweks i met didn't have this kind of spirit)if they didn't love the game,how can they enjoy themselves in the stadium...about the stench foo,please remind those aweks who go to full capacity stadium,that even their Givenchy can smell like ikan masin when they started doping..hahaha...anyway..cheers to you bloddy Mancs..

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